Lumi / For parents

Bedtime routine for preschoolers and kindergartners

A consistent routine is one of the few sleep habits with large-scale data behind it. In a study of 10,085 children up to age 5 across Asia, Oceania, Europe and North America, a regular bedtime routine went with earlier bedtimes, falling asleep faster, fewer night wakings and more sleep, and the more nights a week families kept it, the better the results.

How much sleep kids need

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends 10 to 13 hours in 24 hours, naps included, for ages 3 to 5, and 9 to 12 hours for ages 6 to 12.

A 30-minute routine

Heads-up. “Ten more minutes, then bath.” A warning makes the switch easier.
Bath or wash, teeth, pajamas. Same order every night.
One or two books in bed, lights low.
Five quiet minutes. One calming exercise from the three below.
Goodnight with the same words each night, then lights out.

Screens off before the routine starts. Keep the order the same on weekends, even if the time shifts a little.

Three exercises for the last five minutes

Moon Breathing

5–7 minutes · You need: Dim light

This bedtime ritual helps the body and mind slow down, shifting from “run and do” to “rest and recover.” Using imagination, the child breathes in soft moonlight and lets the busy day go before sleep.

Inviting the Moonlight. When your child is already in bed, invite them to close their eyes and imagine a big, kind moon rising outside the window. It doesn’t shine brightly like the sun. It gives soft, cool, gentle light.Say: “Let’s imagine the moon has come to visit us. Its light is like a soft silver blanket. It brings quiet. Whatever happened today, you can rest now. Ready to let the light in?”
Moonlit Inhale. Ask your child to take a very slow breath in through the nose. As they breathe in, they can imagine cool silver light coming in and slowly filling their head.Say: “Breathe in slowly... Imagine cool silver light filling your head. Maybe your head feels quiet and soft, almost like a little moon.”
Breathing Out the Day. On the breath out, invite your child to imagine the busy day leaving the body: noise, rushing, and all the running around. We’re not fighting the day. We’re just letting it go.Say: “And now a long, long breath out. Imagine the last bits of daytime noise leaving with the air. We just let them go and melt into the dark night.”
Filling Down to the Toes. Keep breathing and guide the moonlight lower: into the shoulders, arms, belly, and legs. Your child notices how each part of the body feels, without having to make it feel a certain way.Say: “With each breath, the moonlight flows a little farther. Into your shoulders... your arms... maybe they feel heavy and calm. Into your tummy... your legs... all the way to your toes.”
Resting in the Moonlight. To finish, invite your child to just rest in the light, without trying to change anything. If your child is still wiggly or awake, that’s okay. Resting counts too.Say: “Now you’re like the night sky: deep, quiet, and full of soft light. You don’t need to do anything. Just rest. You’re safe and cozy in your bed.”

Sea of Calm

5–8 minutes · You need: Quiet and imagination

This visualization helps a child face strong feeling “waves” without getting swept away by them. It teaches the child to notice the difference between a storm on the surface and a quiet place deeper down. If your child is afraid of deep water, imagine a quiet cave or a cozy blanket fort instead.

Storm on the Surface. Ask your child to imagine that strong feelings, like Anger, Fear, or Worry, are huge waves on top of the ocean. There’s wind, spray, and a lot of movement. We don’t try to stop the storm or make it go away. We just notice it’s here.Say: “Imagine your feelings right now are really tall waves. On top of the ocean, there’s a big storm. The wind is blowing and the waves are splashing. That’s okay. Oceans have days like this. Want to see what’s under the waves?”
Diving into Quiet. Invite your child to take a slow breath and, as they breathe out, imagine slowly sinking deeper into the water, like a diver. The deeper they go, the quieter the wind and waves become. Remind them that divers have air tanks, so they keep breathing slowly the whole time.Say: “Close your eyes if you want to. Imagine you’re a diver, going down slowly, slowly. Divers have air tanks, so you can keep breathing slowly the whole time. The water gets clearer, and everything gets cool and quiet.”
On the Seafloor. Describe the seafloor as a quiet place deep inside, a place where calm can be found. There are colorful fish, corals, and soft sand here.Say: “Here we are, all the way at the bottom. Notice how quiet it is down here. The storm is only up at the top. Down here it’s quiet. You have a quiet place like this inside you, too.”
Looking Up from Below. This is the key step: invite your child to “look” up at the feeling waves from below. From down here, they look more like water dancing. Feelings can be big, but they can’t reach the quiet place deep inside. We’re not hiding from the waves. We’re watching them.Say: “Look up through the water. Can you see the waves still moving up there? You can watch them from down here. They’re still there, and you’re okay. Let them splash while you stay here for a bit.”
Bring the Quiet With You. Finish by reminding your child that this quiet place is something they can visit again when a storm feels big. Practice this a few times on calm days first, so it’s easier to use when a real storm comes.Say: “Let’s take a little bit of this quiet with us. Take a slow breath. The storm up top might keep going, but your quiet place is still there. You can come back here whenever you want.”

Gratitude Circle

10 minutes · You need: Quiet evening

This exercise helps children find small good things, even on hard days. They learn that a hard day can still hold moments worth noticing. This builds resilience without forcing them to “be positive.”

Time for the Magic Flashlight. Sit together before bed, during dinner, or at another quiet moment. Explain that attention is like a flashlight. It can help us find small treasures hidden inside the day.Say: “Sometimes our brain only remembers the bad stuff. Let’s turn on our Magic Flashlight and look for small good moments from today.”
Welcome the Hard Feelings. If the day was hard, your child may not want to name anything good. Don’t force cheerfulness. First, accept how they feel. On a really hard day, one tiny treasure is enough.Say: “Sounds like Sadness came along today and says everything was bad. That’s okay. Hard days happen. We can say, “I hear you, Sadness.” And we can still look for tiny treasures. Even one tiny treasure counts.”
Find Three Treasures. Ask your child to name up to three things they feel thankful for today. Keep it small and real: warm socks, a funny picture, a hug, finishing something hard.Say: “What are three things from today you feel thankful for? They can be tiny, like a sunny spot on the wall, a yummy drink, or that you kept trying.”
Feel the Warmth. After naming the treasures, invite your child to notice whether the thankful feeling shows up anywhere in the body. There’s no right answer.Say: “When you remember these things, do you feel it anywhere in your body? Maybe warmth in your chest, a smile in your cheeks, or something soft in your tummy. Let’s take a slow breath and notice. If you don’t notice anything, that’s okay too.”
Close the Circle. End with a small gesture: a hug, a high five, a special handshake, or one shared slow breath.Say: “Let’s tuck these treasures away and take them into tomorrow. Today had hard parts, and it had good parts too. Both are true.”

If bedtime is still a battle

Check the timing. A child who isn’t tired yet, or is overtired, fights sleep harder.
Ask about worries earlier in the evening, at dinner or in the bath, so they don’t arrive at lights out.
Talk to your pediatrician about loud snoring, frequent night terrors or trouble falling asleep that lasts for weeks.

Lumi is a set of self-help exercises for families. It isn’t a treatment and doesn’t replace a pediatrician or a child psychologist. If you’re worried about your child’s safety, call 988 or your local emergency number.

Sources

Mindell J. A., Li A. M., Sadeh A., Kwon R., Goh D. Y. Bedtime routines for young children: a dose-dependent association with sleep outcomes. Sleep, 2015. doi.org/10.5665/sleep.4662
Paruthi S. et al. Recommended amount of sleep for pediatric populations: a consensus statement of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 2016. doi.org/10.5664/jcsm.5866

Questions parents ask

What is a good bedtime routine for a preschooler?

A heads-up, then bath or wash, teeth and pajamas, one or two books, five quiet minutes, and goodnight. About 30 minutes, in the same order every night.

How much sleep does a 4-year-old need?

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends 10 to 13 hours in 24 hours, including naps, for ages 3 to 5.

Does a bedtime routine really help?

In a study of 10,085 children up to age 5, a consistent bedtime routine was associated with earlier bedtimes, falling asleep faster, fewer night wakings and longer sleep.